Change of Plans: Hannah Hart Reveals Why She's "Willing to Wait for as Long as It Takes" to Have Her Dream Wedding

作为全球大流行冠状的结果，夫妻在世界各地都不得不做出一个非常困难的，而且往往令人心碎，决定取消，推迟，或调整其最完美的婚礼计划。分享他们的故事，并希望能帮助我们的读者处理这个无可否认的情感和流体的情况下，我们要求那些受影响的分享他们的“计划的改变”的故事在他们自己的话。下面，汉娜·哈特讲述从洛杉矶她的故事。

When I was a little girl, I dreamed of being married. Freedom from loneliness, helplessness, added power, strength, security, protection. I could picture that life clearly: a small house, football on Sundays, barbecues on the block, me tending to the needs of my husband—sure to be a great man.

对于详细，我想象中的生活，我想，我从来没有想象的日子，生活会开始。我从未想象我的结婚日。我做梦也没想到的“婚礼”。我梦寐以求的“婚姻”。

Looking back, I think it’s because I could never picture myself in thedress。

艾拉和我订婚in the summer of 2018 with our eyes on the spring of 2020 for our wedding.

我们都计划和农产品为生，所以我们并不急于启动规划所有我们最亲近的亲人和最尊敬的同行的200人的事件。我们都投入了大量的关于自己的压力，抛出一个优秀的婚礼，但以不同的方式。对于我来说，我把重点放在经验和美学。对于艾拉，她要确保没有一个人的感情受到伤害的被不放过嘉宾名单。也许这是天蝎座的我，但我并不关心。我们将刻录桥当我们到达那里，我在我们的规划会议，喜欢开玩笑。

此外，我们都认为，如果对自己或我们的关系有改进的余地，二十年将有足够的时间来解决任何明显的red flagsand enter into the life we wanted prepared to tackle the rest of our lives in tandem. Sure, we were in love with each other, but committing your life to another is about so much more than love. You better be in love! That’s the easy part. After that, it’s about shared values—personal, spiritual, financial. We wanted to bring our lives together and then be married.

So, we started going tocouples therapy拥抱在我们的关系，我们的家庭，我们所有触发器，并开始了需要进行的更改。艾拉停止饮用。我停止了萎缩。只要齐心协力，我们从来没有更多的功能。我很高兴地说，一年后夫妻的工作和大量丰富的活动策划，我们进入了2020感慨一下我们的婚礼，我们对未来的计划非常有信心。

当然，这是第一步，以一种不可阻挡的未来！

ld乐动官网参与我们正要宣布自己的单位给别人，肯定的，但大多是关于提高赌注我们。我们的经验是，参与本身感觉像一个声明：“在同一时ld乐动官网间让我们永远的一天。”

婚礼s bring up all sorts of feelings of discomfort. Performance, approval, and conformity. For as unique as everyone feels their wedding is and must be, the reality is that there is an incredible pressure to conform to traditions that may not even be your own. Societal norms put pressure on all of us—to varying degrees. (A dear friend of mine confessed that on her wedding day, she picked the dress her岳母approved of and felt “not like herself” throughout the occasion.)

所以，当世界上没有180和全球大流行被宣布，我觉得没必要哭了这一点。就我而言，规划的最困难的部分已经结束了。我们已经整理所有的食物，鲜花，乐趣。我放开我的关系，我的父亲是谁拒绝出席。我们想通了仪式适合我们的信念，并认为最正宗的给我们......那些都是大任务！

So now the wedding has to be delayed? Indefinitely? Sure. Why not.

I do feel a sense of disappointment, but the strongest feeling I have is a sense of annoyance. The“ughhhhhh”feeling—the feeling when someone takes your parking spot. Nothing major, and depending on the day, nothing of note. At the beginning of the crisis, our wedding planner noted that I had the “white-hot calm” of a trauma survivor.

I would say, it’s not so much a feeling of calm... and more like the absence of feeling. The circumstances of our lives have changed. This change is beyond our control. It just... is what it is. And will discover that new reality as we build it.

因此，一方面，我的心是合理运行，控制我的决定和行动，但我会承认我的心脏有点擦伤了。

现在,这些决定是什么?我们已经选择了to postpone the wedding by at least a year. Maybe two. The planning is locked and loaded—I can’t say enough good things about柔情婚礼for getting us here—so the event will happen... when it happens. I don’t want to go into detail about whatexactly我们有计划，因为我想这是我们的朋友和家人一个惊喜。（是的，包括你，互联网的家庭！）

I struggle with keeping my chin up. There is a part of me that feels like the day may never come. But I think that’s because I haven’t seen a day like ours very much before...

Which leads me to my last point—why we have chosen to wait, why we aren’t paring down the wedding to a close group, or a large video chat. The reason is that I feel an incredible sense of pride and privilege at my ability to throw a dream wedding. Part of why I want to get married in splendor for the generations before me who could never get married at all. We want to have a wedding, not because we want to have a marriage. We will have that no matter what. We want to have a wedding because we want to share in the romance and splendor that love provides.

We want to throw a big, fabulous, loving queer wedding for all those who never got the chance to have theirs. We want glamour and gladness. And we are willing to wait for as long as it takes.

The only part of this party that really matters right now is making sure we all stay safe and healthy and sane.

我是一个谁住分享，我能表现出任何的小女孩是谁在未来的梦想她的生活，它可以是任何东西，她希望它是。即使她不希望穿一件衣服。